It is February 17th today, and much of this new year for me has been spent in deep contemplation. I have been thinking about life, about death, about purpose, about relationships, and mostly about love.
I see love as our foundational principle of understanding. If I want to have a transparent and authentic relationship with my God and others - I need to have love. I need to open up my being to let God's love pour in....I struggle because now that I am desiring a healthier heart and way of thought, receiving love and expressing love hasn't been natural. A strange comment from one who has been epitomized as the self-less giver and one who loves the most. Some times I can't connect what is in my mind with what is in my heart. This is a new way of thinking for me, and I believe it is God's way.
In these recent times, I have come to realize that most of my expressions of love and caring were driven out of wrong motives. I didn't see this at the time, but I know now, that some how I felt validated and important if I could give. I wanted to feel good about who I was, and giving seemed to fill that need. It doesn't bring me any joy in admitting this. Our own hearts are something we can't even know truthfully at times. If my motivation is for my self-worth, then I don't really have love.
So now I come before my Lord and Savior, stripped of my self assurance and pride. I am an empty vessel asking Him to fill me with His love. In time I will begin to see myself complete in Him and loving myself in the way God wants me to. The beauty of it all is that then I can love others as I am meant to love others. After all, God IS love.
Jimmy Dodd, our visiting pastor and friend, told us Sunday, that in I Corinthians 13, if we apply these words to our behavior and but not apply these words to our hearts first, we have missed the message. I have missed the message. I hope you have not. But if you have, like me, there is still another day, another opportunity, to relate to God's word in the Person of Jesus Christ, a living active person. The love chapter isn't a set of rules, but a testimony of Jesus. While fully in relationship with Him, the outcome will be all that is Jesus.
Read I Corinthians 13 with fresh eyes. Let the Holy Spirit speak His truth to your heart. Ask the tough questions, and then trust God.
Shalom, Pamela
I Corinthians 13:4-8; 13
" Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, and He is not proud. Jesus is not rude, He is not self-seeking. Jesus is not easily angered. He keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jesus always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Jesus never fails....and now these three remain: faith, hope and Jesus. But the greatest of these is Jesus!"
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