I am reading and working through an awesome book right now. Here are some helpful excerpts that I would like to share. I hope you find answers and encouragement on how to face the challenges in your life in order to make some changes. I have.
Ask yourself, "how often am I irritated and offended? Do I take full advantage of these opportunities by expressing how hurt and frustrated I am?" Irritable means to be near the point of a knife. People who are irritable are locked, loaded, and ready to overreact.
Irritation is the opposite reaction of love. When under pressure love doesn't turn sour. Minor problems do not yield major reactions. A loving person will remain calm and patient, showing mercy and restraining their temper. Rage and violence are out of the question. A loving person will not be overly sensitive or cranky but exercise emotional self-control.
There are two key reasons that contribute to irritable behavior: Stress. Stress weighs us down, drains our energy, weakens our health, and invites us to be cranky. It can be brought on by relational causes - arguing, division, and bitterness. There are excessive causes, too - overworking, overplaying, and overspending. And there are deficiencies - not getting enough rest, nutrition, or exercise. Oftentimes we inflict these dangers on ourselves, and this sets us up to be irritable.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. This means we must balance, prioritize, and pace ourselves. The Bible can help us avoid unhealthy stress. It teaches us to let love guide our relationships so that we aren't caught up in unnecessary arguments (Colossians 3:12-14). To pray through our anxieties instead of tackling them on our own (Philippians 4:6-7). To delegate when we are overworked (Exodus 18:17-23). To avoid overindulgence (Proverbs 25:16). The Bible also encourages us to take a "Sabbath" vacation day every week for worship and rest - allowing us time to recharge, refocus, and add breathing room or margin to our weekly schedule.
There is a deeper reason, though, why we become irritable. Selfishness. When we are irritable, the heart of the problem is primarily a problem of the heart. Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). Some people are like lemons: when life squeezes them, they pour out sour responses. Some are more like peaches: when the pressure is on, the result is still sweet. Being easily angered or irritated is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule.
Selfishness wears many masks: Greed - being ungrateful for what we have and coveting for something we don't. A greedy and lustful heart will be easily frustrated and angered (James 4:1-3). Bitterness - a result of our unresolved anger. When bitterness takes root we will respond in a judgmental way and will refuse to work through our anger (Ephesians 4:31). Pride - a destructive condition of the heart where we view ourselves, our needs, our opinions are more important that those of others. Pride will lead us to act harshly in order to protect our ego and reputation.
These motivations can never be satisfied. But when love enters our hearts, it calms us down and inspires us to quit focusing on ourselves. It loosens the grasp and helps us to let go of unnecessary things. Love will lead us to forgive instead of holding a grudge. In each decision, love ultimately lowers our stress and helps us release the venom that can build up inside. It then sets up our heart to respond to others with patience and encouragment rather than anger and exasperation.
Romans 12:10 " Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor."
